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girly years
Different Pen
12.01.2024
before, but decades ago
Arctic winter, so cold that cars and buses stop running even in hardy Finland. An old lady is sent home from hospital and I try to arrange for diapers, grab handles, nursing homes and...
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
05.03.2023
the greenfinch and the unexpected memories
Today I remembered how my father taught me to say totta kai when I was very young. And how on an early spring day once I spent hours on the porch,...
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
29.01.2023
helsinki magic
Vague sounds of traffic, far-away sirens, voices. Lights from the street projected on the ceiling of a city flat at night. I'm trying to sleep on a makeshift bed, on crisp sheets smelling sweetly of detergent. Listening...
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
28.01.2023
going home, when you live in Finland
Going home, when you live in Finland, often means driving long distances through dark forests.I used to lie in the backseat of my father's car, a...
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
13.11.2022
surviving a knife on Halloween
November began in the hospital, a major surgery I wasn't at all sure I'd survive. They said it was routine but I wasn't convinced anyone could cut open my stomach without killing me. And it...
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
27.05.2022
no stepping on the ants
I was out walking with my mother, one of the first really warm days of spring. Our walk progressed at glacial speed, because my mother is old and frail. Walking extremely slowly gives you a...
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
25.12.2021
hyacinths and the not-normal existence
I bought a third hyacinth just to make sure the scent stays in my home over Christmas. The pandemic takes another chokehold on society and sometimes...
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
18.04.2021
coltsfoot thoughts
Coltsfoot by the roadside, warm breeze on bare skin. Someone goes by on a bicycle with wheels that do that ticking noise my first real, grown-up bike did when I was eleven and life was glorious. My mother, walking very...
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
20.06.2020
seafarers and lullabies
Ordinary events by the sea: a man I admire sailed in and someone sang Mammas lilla gullgull - my childhood lullaby (of unknown and possibly ancient origin) which still makes me sleepy.
#eden
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
09.05.2020
the importance of rocks
I like rocks. The large, mossy kind you find scattered all over Finland, granite or gneiss ones. I love walking with bare feet on course, sunwarmed rock or boulders covered in cool, velvety...
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
05.03.2019
one of the many that got away
I showed my friends a picture of the guy I was desperately in love with when I was sixteen.They said, "He doesn't look like he can deal with your madness."I'm glad I didn't end up with that...
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
03.02.2019
it's uphill for oddities, the stranger crusaders
Mama said, fulfill the prophecy Be something greater, go make a legacy ( - Panic! at the Disco: "High Hopes")I'm reading my teenage diaries and...
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
11.12.2018
saints and songs and gingerbread
I have watched the Nobel Banquet on TV and found inspiration among princes and sages. I have loved the darkest time of the year, loved by nobody...
#dreams
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
16.10.2018
the Carrie years, with a happy end
Map of the school where I spent my first teenage years:It still gives me that haunted feeling. Endless corridors, filled with smirking faces, where I...
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
09.10.2018
mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam
I dreamed of this back then, when I roamed the world and was feeling weary and homesick:After a successful day at the office, taking an interesting...
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
05.06.2018
the elders who loved me
How I remember them: My grandfather, the farmer with a thousand stories and a love of open fields, had a pear tree in his garden with the tiniest and sweetest of pears. He once opened the...
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
24.04.2018
the making of music
My mother, probably sometime in the 1940s, sat down at a pump organ, the kind that was rather common in Finnish homes, chapels and schools at the time. Her grandfather kindly taught her a few basic major and minor...
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
20.03.2018
sorbet in the streets
The cold is easing up under a relentless sun and the snow under my feet is turning into a sorbet-like mush.March, a long time ago, used to be the month for building the last snow forts, the...
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
19.02.2018
the day of the Saudi-Arabian camel whip
Penkkarit is being celebrated these days. Final year students of upper secondary schools hail their last day of school by coming to school in fancy...
Seuraa mua!
Different Pen
14.01.2018
the buzzing at week's end
Saturday, the day of possibilities. Of sleeping late, of setting out on adventures, of partying in glitzy clothes and smoky eyes.I used to love Saturdays as a child. I got up early in the...
Seuraa mua!
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